Forever Love
by fanofthearts
Summary: What if Jenny told Ziva about her illness? Jiva  Femslash with some Jibbs mentioned. Set in Cairo, Tel Aviv, and DC. Reba songs sprinkled through out. Please Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER:** All characters are the property of Donald Bellisario Productions and CBS. Songs are property of Reba McEnitre. No copyright infringement intended. Just me playing.  
><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE:<strong> I am new to NCIS I started watching a few months ago and am slowly trying to catch up. I just finished season 5 and it inspired me to write this. This is my first NCIS fic, please be nice and review. If you happen to know of any good Jiva fics out there, please let me know!

**SUMMARY:** Jenny and Ziva's relationship. I've taken some liberties. What if Jenny told Ziva about her illness? This is set in two different time periods, directly after Recoil.

If you like it PLEASE review, it will only take a second.

_Now each day is one day that's left in her life  
>She won't know love, have a marriage or sing lullabies<em>

With a shaking hand Jenny knocked on Ziva's door. She shifted her weight, fidgeting with the tie on her sweat pants. She never wore sweats in public; it wasn't something she liked to wear out. It was not professional, but she was past the point of caring. Ducky had called her eight hours ago and explained what had happened to Ziva. She cut her 'vacation' short and headed back to DC. She didn't bother to stop by her town house to change into her usual attire. She rubbed her burning eyes. It had been a long seven days. She raised her hand again and knocked louder. The door suddenly flew open and a very haggard looking Ziva stared back at her. The circles under her eyes almost reached down to her cheekbones, her hair was a mess and her tank top was off center. She took one quick step forward and pulled the younger woman into her arms. She didn't want to give Ziva the chance to speak, when Jenny told Ziva about her vacation she had been cryptic and she knew she had hurt the younger woman.

Ziva was surprised by the woman who was standing at her door. She had expected Tony to come knocking tonight, not Jenny. She frowned, the woman in front of her was not the Director she was becoming use to seeing at NCIS, she was the tired and fragile looking woman that Ziva was sadly getting used to seeing outside of work. She felt the familiar sinking feeling in her stomach; she knew her lover was hiding something from her. Jenny's face was void of makeup and weary looking lines were clear around her eyes and mouth. There was a fading bruise on the side of her face from the tumble she took in MTAC right before her vacation. Before Ziva could say anything she felt strong arms wrap around her body. She stood frozen for a moment before the familiar smell of Jenny's perfume entered her senses. She relaxed into the embrace. "What are you doing here?" She murmured into Jenny's neck, "I thought you were on vacation."

Jenny pulled back and stepped into the apartment. She dropped her bag by the door and headed towards the couch. "I cut it short. Ducky called me; he said you had a close call."

"I am fine." Was the immediate response, Ziva locked the door and turned to face the other woman. "It was nothing, just that: a close call."

Jenny nodded, "You look like shit Ziva."

Ziva gave a small smile, her first in days, "I could say the same about you."

Jenny let out a bark of laughter, "Come then, let's look like shit together." She patted the spot next to her. Ziva paused half way to the couch, and looked at the woman in front of her. Jenny looked tough, that was the first word that came to Ziva's mind. When she met her she was so carefree much like herself back then. She noted she was letting her hair grow, it gently touched her shoulders now and she could tell she had stopped bleaching it as her red roots were starting to grow back. She thought back to a time when Jenny's hair was as red as a sunset, an Egyptian sunset at that. It was the first time she met the woman in front of her.

_I don't care where this road goes  
>No I don't wanna turn around<em>

_Cairo Egypt January 2001_

_It was hot; the air in Cairo was dead still as Ziva hurried down the street. She was happy to have a job today; even if it was boring it got her out of the house. Her father was allowing her to show a visiting American federal agent around. She was in town on business but their transaction was delayed for a week. She knew it was just something to keep her out of his way but she could think of worse things to be doing. She turned the corner, about a block ahead was the American Embassy, and she would pick up her charge there. She began going through the file information she had on the woman. Jennifer Shepard, 37 years of age from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, single never married, had been with NCIS for seven years. She transfused to the Navy from the Philadelphia homicide department, no family left, and was just returning overseas from a six month leave in the U.S. for recovery from a bullet to the thigh. As she approached the Embassy she was again surprised by the sheer size of the building, it jutted up out of the street and seemed to be reaching for the sky. Her gaze dropped back down to the ground and focused on a woman a few feet in front of her. Long red hair flowed freely half way down her back, the shorts and tank top did nothing to protect the fair skin against the cruel Egyptian sun, she could already see a red tinge beginning. Her eyes moved back up to the hair, she had never seen a red head in person before, the sun seemed like it was lighting it on fire. It reminded Ziva of the sunsets against the Nile, the bright reds and oranges slowly sinking into the water. She was brought back into reality when she bumped into a young man whose attention was on the same thing hers was. She looked around the busy street, many people where staring. Such hair and skin in Cairo was rare. Ziva smiled, this had to be her woman. _

"_Jenny Shepard." She spoke quietly once she was within ear shot. The woman turned around suddenly her hair fanning out, Ziva's breath caught, the woman was gorgeous. She looked up into bright blue eyes and realized she could very easily get lost in those eyes. Jenny appeared much younger than what her file had said, she looked only a few years older than Ziva herself. She was snapped out of her trance when she realized the woman was speaking and had stuck out her hand. _

"_You must be Officer David's daughter, I'm Jenny." Her smile was infectious and Ziva couldn't help but smile back. _

"_Yes I am it is a pleasure to meet you." The hand under Ziva's was soft and the touch sent a jolt up her arm. "I take it is your first time in Egypt." _

_Jenny slowly released the younger woman's hand, "How could you tell?" She smiled._

"_Your hair, your dress," She motioned to Jenny "I have some clothes that should fit you. You should not be running around with hair like that uncovered or skin like that naked to the Egyptian sun," she reached out and gently touch her elbow, the gentle pressure turned the skin white before the red pigment returned. "You are burnt already," she saw Jenny's face turn red with a blush, Ziva fought to keep the smile from her face, "Are you ready to go?"_

"_Lead the way. I guess I never thought about it before. It was very nice of you to offer to show me around, I've never been to Cairo before, and this is actually my first time in Africa."_

"_You have never seen the pyramids then?"_

"_No."_

_The smile bloomed across Ziva's face. "How do you feel about a field trip?"_

__

_The Mossad issued apartment Ziva was to be staying at was cool compared to the oppressive heat outside the windows. Ziva handed Jenny a pale blue hijab, "Here, put this on."_

"_Won't I roast in this?" Jenny asked attempting to drape it around her head correctly._

"_Roast? Are you hungry?" Ziva's frown of confusion turned into a smile as she saw the mess Jenny was making with the hijab._

_Jenny laughed, "No, roast as in sweat, be very hot."_

_Ziva smirked, reaching out and pulling the hijab from Jenny's hands before arranging it correctly around her face. "Sweat? No, the cotton is very breathable…as for 'hot'." She stepped back to admire Jenny, "Very hot indeed." She whispered._

_Jenny again blushed, her breathing stopped as she got lost in Ziva's dark eyes. She moved forward slowly and was met by Ziva's soft lips. The kiss was slow and sweet but soon turned into something much more. _

"_Have-have you ever been with a woman before?" Ziva rasped as Jenny's lips blazed a trail down her neck. _

"_No, but I've always wanted to." She tried to block out the little voice in her head screaming that the woman she was about to devour wasn't even that. She's just a girl Jen, the Director's daughter for God's sake. The feel of Ziva trembling under her hands was enough to push that voice away. "Have you?"_

"_N-No…ohhh." Jenny's hand found her breast and Ziva let her head fall forward onto the taller woman's shoulder. "I have never…with anyone." _

_Jenny stilled her hand and stepped back, "How old are you?"_

"_Nineteen, I'll be twenty in a month."_

_Jenny almost stopped ALMOST, but one look in those deep chocolate eyes made her throw caution to the wind. She had never felt an instant connection like this with anyone before, not even Jethro, it scared her. "Are you sure?" She forced herself to ask._

_Ziva's mind went to all of the teachings in Temple that had been pounded into her head. She looked up at this beautiful woman and smiled. "Positive." For the present moment the pyramids were forgotten, as was the Halakah. All that mattered was getting Jenny out of the hijab. _

"Ziva?" Jenny's voice pulled her out of her memories. "Are you okay? You don't look so good. Sit down." Jenny pulled her down next to her on the couch. She searched her eyes, "Where were you?"

"Cario, 2001. You were in a blue hijab and we were going to see the Pyramids for the first time."

A slow warm smiled grew on Jenny's face, "That was the first time for a lot of things if I remember correctly." She watched as Ziva turned red.

Ziva thought back to first time. While beautiful had started out very awkwardly, seeing Jenny standing naked in front of her, her long hair flowing down her back had frozen the Israeli like a statue. When she did get her motor skills back her hands were shaking so badly she couldn't get the zipper down on her cargo pants. Finally Jenny's calm, cool fingers covered her own clammy ones. It was one of the most wonderful moments of Ziva's life. She knew from that day on that she had something, someone to live for. "Yes, well, I was very young then." She mumbled avoiding Jenny's eyes.

"And a year was forever and a day." Jenny whispered her smile fell from her lips; she sighed and looked down at her hands. Ziva had changed so much from that wide eyed nineteen year old girl she had fallen for. Sometimes, when it was just them she saw her, lurking behind the worldly woman that was now Ziva David.

__

_Ziva's twentieth birthday was something she would never forget. It had almost been a month since she had met Jenny; even though her assignment had expired a week ago she had talked to her director and had been given a position as a liaison officer between Mossad and NCIS. Ziva was ecstatic, at first she was afraid her feelings were one sided but her birthday changed all of that. Jenny managed to get her paper work wrapped up before five and took Ziva by surprise driving them down to a small hotel near the Nile. "Surprise," She whispered, leaning across the seat to brush her lips against Ziva's neck. _

"_What is this?" Ziva asked looking out the passenger side window of the Mossad issued car._

"_Happy birthday my darling."She placed a quick kiss on Ziva's gaping mouth. "Two days of just us and a beautiful view of the Nile." Jenny stepped out of the car and when around to the passenger side. "Come on my dear." She held her hand out to the shocked girl, she still hadn't moved, "Ziva?" For a second Jenny panicked. "What's wrong? Don't you like it?"_

_Ziva shook her head and stepped out of the car, "Show me to our room?"_

_Jenny nodded and grabbed the overnight bag she had secretly packed for both of them. She received the key to the room and led a silent Ziva upstairs. Jenny had to fiddle with the lock but the door finally gave way on creaking hinges. The hotel was not new by any means but it was clean and offered one of the most amazing views in the country. She set the bag down and crossed the room pushing open the long white curtains that hid the deck. Outside the red sun was slowly setting behind the Great Pyramid. Jenny turned back and held her hand out for Ziva. "Come here Cherie." Ziva approached slowly, she reached out for Jenny's hand and allowed her to pull her into a hug. "What's wrong, don't you like this?"_

_Ziva shook her head and pulled back, "No, Jenny it is…it is amazing." She gazed out into the setting sun slowing sinking its way behind the pyramids casting a red glow on the Nile. "I just can't believe you did all this for me." She whispered._

"_Ziva, it's your birthday! And…and I love you." Jenny whispered. She never thought she would say those words out loud. She had been hurt so many times she vowed to never love again, but here she was saying it, meaning it to this amazing young woman who unknowingly had stolen her heart in such a short time. _

_Ziva closed her eyes and let herself soak up those words, they were so rarely spoken to her. Occasionally her mother would end their phone conversations with an 'I love you' but she couldn't remember anyone else ever saying it to her. Last week she had gone to her father to ask to be transferred back to Tel Aviv with Jenny when she was moved to the Mossad headquarters next month. Her father had laughed out loud. He then explained that he could not believe she would want to be around that dreadful woman longer than was necessary. When Ziva inquired he told her of Jenny's reputation of a 'nachash'. He explained that the only reason he had assigned Ziva to her because he did not want to entertain such a wrenched woman. Ziva was stunned; again it was all a game to him. She was still his poor little daughter, someone to pawn off to someone else. Now, standing and looking into the deep blue eyes of this beautiful woman in front of her Ziva felt the sting of her father's words melt away. She nuzzled the taller woman's neck, "Jenny, I love it. I just cannot believe you went through all this trouble for me." She whispered blinking back tears._

_Jenny beamed, kissing Ziva before bounding over to her bag. She unzipped it and pulled a small package from the compartment before returning to Ziva's side. "Here, open it."_

_Ziva looked down at the neatly wrapped gift. She was stunned, the last time she remembered getting a wrapped present was on her Bat Mitzvah when she was twelve. "Jen, you should not have gone through all the –"_

"_Hush, open it." She saw Ziva's hesitation. "Go on, it won't bite."_

_Ziva smiled sheepishly and carefully removed the shimmering blue and white paper. She set it aside and reviled a deep blue velvet box. It squeaked as she opened it to reveal a gold Star of David pendent. She stopped breathing, it was beautiful, and the setting sun hit it in a way that made it look like it was on fire. "Oh Jenny." She breathed looking up at her lover. "It is- I do not know what to say." _

"_You like it?"_

_Ziva looked up at her with tears flowing down her face. "I love it, I love you." She pulled Jenny to her to kiss her mouth, "Please put it on?"_

_Jenny's hands shook as she clasped the delicate chain around Ziva's neck. She turned her around, "It looks good on you."_

_Ziva reached up and fingered the pendent, she turned and looked out at the beautiful view in front of her. She pushed open the glass sliding door that lead to the patio and sat heavily onto one of the iron chairs. She heard Jenny follow her out and close the door. "My Grandmother was at Auschwitz." She began slowly. "23543." She whispered in Hebrew. 'Never forget that number Ziva; never forget what has happened to your people.' She would tell me. She lost her family, each and every one of them walked into those gates and she was the only one to walk out, an entire generation gone, just like that. She was young, sixteen when she went in. She said she never knew how she survived, why her and not one of her brothers or her mother, her father? They went in late, '44 after a year of living in Krakow. Soon after she was liberated she met my grandfather and they moved to the newly formed Israel. He was in the camps too, but would never speak of it. He trained my father to be Mossad, it was his life's duty he said, so it never happened again." She raised her red eyes to Jenny's, "That is what I want to do, I want to make sure it never happens again."Her knuckles had turned white as she clutched the Star. Jenny knelt down next to her. _

"_Ziva, if the pendent is too much to wear we can take it back."_

_Ziva's eyes flashed, "Don't you dare say that, this is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever given to me. It will never leave my person." She let go of the charm and reached for Jenny's hands. "Todah," She pulled Jenny's mouth to her's, "Thank you."_

Ziva fingered the gold pendent that still hung around her neck, "Jen? What is going on, why are you here?"

"You're not glad to see me?" The hurt on Jenny's face was obvious.

"Of course, you know you are always welcome here, but it is very unlike you to start quoting musicals, and you are in sweats, and you are on vacation which, I remember you telling me I was not to question you about but yet you are at my door at," She glanced over at the clock on the wall, "12:15 in the morning."

Jenny sighed; she knew she had to tell her, that was why she came all this way. That and to make sure Ziva was okay, seeing her now she knew she would be fine. The woman next to her was tough, she would get through this just like she got through every other tragedy she had seen in her young life, "Do you remember that fall I took two weeks ago?"

Ziva nodded, her fingers gently tracing the pale discoloration around Jenny's eye. "It looked pretty bad." She remembered watching Jenny slip coming down the stairs in MTAC. She had quickly run to get ice once she saw the swelling. Ziva helped her to her office and suggested that she could drive Jenny home but Jenny refused to leave in the middle of a case. They had sat in that quiet office for almost an hour, Ziva reclining on the couch with Jenny in between her legs. The Director had clung to Ziva refusing to let go until Gibbs called her out on a case. Ziva finally left after making Jenny promise she would see Ducky. That night when Ziva stopped by Jenny's house after work they sat curled up on the couch watching a movie, something they rarely did.

"It was, it…it lead to some tests. I've been pretty clumsy lately Ziva, and that's not me."

"I know you are a very elegant woman Jen." Ziva began thinking back. Last month they both had a weekend off Jenny had been in the kitchen getting lunch together when Ziva heard a loud crash. She found Jenny standing in the middle of what had once been a bottle of wine. Jenny had sliced her foot from stepping in the glass. She refused to go to the doctor but did allow Ducky to look at her. She frowned, she remembered a few weeks ago being in Jenny's office discussing a case when Jenny had spilt her coffee down the front of her shirt. She had been shaking when Ziva stepped around the desk to help her, "Your coffee, a few weeks ago." She mused out loud.

The red head nodded, "There have been quite a few incidents as of late, too many." Jenny pursed her lips and leaned forward. She ran a hand through her hair. "I had Ducky run some tests; I didn't know what was going on. I was having horrible headaches and my vision would swim. I thought I need new glasses-"

"Jenny." Ziva reached her hand out, pulling her hands from her face. "Why did you not tell me?"

Jenny chewed her lip, "I thought it was probably nothing, I didn't want to worry you. You're busy and we are around each other so much as it is I didn't want to seem suspicious." She treaded her fingers through Ziva's.

"But you know that does not bother me Jen. I don't care what people think."

"I don't either but you, having an affair with me; the director of NCIS could affect your career."

"And yours as well." Ziva sighed letting her head fall back against the couch, "I know we have been over this one hundred times before."

"It doesn't matter for me anymore Ziva."

The dark head shot up, "What?" Ziva leaned forward, her eyes searching for Jenny's blue ones that refused to look up.

"I-" she took a deep breath, trying to blink the sting out of her eyes, she thought she would be out of tears by now. "Ziva, I'm dying."

TBC

I have this finished, the more reviews, the quicker I'll post updates. Please review, it only takes a second. Thanks for reading!

Songs: She Thinks His Name was John by Reba

I'd Rather Ride Around with You by Reba


	2. Chapter 2

Hi! Thank you everyone who took the time to review, it really does mean a lot! I hope the format for this one works, for some reason won't let me put in italics. There should be just one more chapter after this.

Again, I don't own anything; the songs belong to Reba and the characters to CBS etc.

A special thanks to Zivacentric who really, really inspired me to write for Jiva.

Please Please please REVIEW!

'Cause the heart won't lie  
>Sometimes life gets in the way<br>But there's one thing that won't change  
>I know I've tried<br>The heart won't lie 

September 11th, 2001 was the day of hell for Ziva. Jenny had been brought on as an American agent in Tel Aviv working some under cover ops for Mossad, for the past seven months her and Ziva had been living in a cramped Mossad owned apartment. It was heaven for both especially Ziva who had never lived away from her mother or her father in her life. She was in love and working covert operations for her country. Life was good. But that all changed when the United States was hit by the suicide bombers. Overnight their life was altered, word came over that Jenny was needed back in the States immediately; she would leave the next day. For Ziva it felt like her insides were being torn out. She couldn't breathe, she felt sick, and she was desperately waiting to wake up from the hell that had so quickly become her life. Jenny wasn't much better, she had pictured her life here, in Tel Aviv. The thought of returning to the states felt wrong.

"What are we going to do?" Jenny whispered, her face buried against Ziva's neck, her favorite spot. They were standing in the small bedroom; Jenny had just hung up with her director finalizing her flight plan back to the US.

"I-I do not know. What are the chances they will reassign you?"

"Not good, not with the mess this has all become." Jenny shook her head picturing the images of the burning Pentagon and the thousands that had died in the buildings. "I don't know what is going to happen but it will take a while for all this to get sorted out. They are talking war."

Ziva nodded and pulled back, she ran her hands through Jenny's loose hair, "Promise me we will not lose this. I cannot lose you Jen."

"You won't, I'll call, you'll call, we can e-mail. Maybe you can take a two week leave and come to the States. I'll show you around the capital, maybe I could get off and we could travel west. I've always wanted to see Yellow Stone. It will be just us, no job, and no security threat."

Ziva moaned, "That sounds wonderful." She sighed. "I wish we could go back to Giza today, it could be just us."

"We don't have enough time." Jenny's fingers began to unbutton the shirt Ziva had haphazardly thrown on in the chaos that greeted them that morning. "Right now, I want to memorize every inch of your body." Jenny pushed her back onto the bed before climbing on top of her.

Ziva grabbed her hands, "Jen, just remember..."

Jenny felt her eyes sting, "Please don't Ziva, not now, just let me love you." She dropped her mouth to the skin she had exposed.

Even though it was only 10 miles from the apartment to the air field the trip took well over an hour with traffic. They were silent in the cab, Jenny leaving heavy against Ziva's side, tears trickling down her face. Ziva would never forget that day. She had helped Jenny pack, after they had showered both seem to struggle to form sentences, the reality of the situation was beginning to set in. They waited, hands clasped till the cabbie knocked on the door. The sun was setting; its red and orange hues sinking into to the distance again reminded Ziva so much of the American's hair. She squeezed Jenny's shoulders and kissed her cheek. "I love you." She whispered. The cab stopped in front of the tarmac and Ziva reluctantly opened the door.

Ziva hadn't felt the gut wrenching feeling since, she had prayed that she would never feel it again but there it was. She swallowed hard against the taste of bile in her throat. "What?" It came out as a choked whisper.

"I'm dying Ziva."

"How, what…are you sure, I do not-"

She felt a hand clamp over her mouth. She looked up into Jenny's moist blue eyes. "Please." She whispered.

Ziva pulled her to her hard, holding on as tight as she could. "Tell me."

Jenny buried her face in Ziva's neck, she loved her smell. It was earthy and sweet, it always calmed her. "Do you remember when I dropped that wine bottle?" She felt Ziva nod into her neck. "I told Ducky what happened, I just started shaking and the bottle flew out of my hand. I couldn't stop. I also told him about the headaches." She felt Ziva stiffen and she gently kissed her neck. "He ran some test and found high levels of creatine kinase. He did an MRI and confirmed it is a brain tumor." She felt Ziva squeeze her harder, she nuzzled her face against the ribbed tank top taking solace in the comfort the younger woman was offering. "He sent me to his specialist in Boston, we met briefly and I went back up at the beginning of last week to meet with him to see if they could operate." She felt her heart beat speed up thinking of being in his office. "They…they did a lot of blood work and scans. I-I had to drink all of this horrible junk that made me so sick." Her tears were falling faster now it was all she could do to keep talking. "It's malignant Ziva." She gasped, a choking sob ripped from her throat. It was the first time she had said it out loud. "I'm dying."

Ziva continued to rub Jenny's back, she made shushing noises, gently kissed her hair, she did everything one was supposed to do to comfort a loved one but it was not enough. She pushed Jenny back and wiped her tears, "Jen, what about surgery? We can go get a second opinion, this is not the end."

Jenny shook her head and stood up. She walked to the end table where a box of Kleenexes sat. She wiped her tears and turned back to look at Ziva. "He brought in another doctor; they are the leading brain surgeons in the country. The tumor is flat, the surgery might buy me some time but it would most likely turn me into a vegetable. I don't want to live like that."

"But Jenny, there has to be-"

"No," Jenny held up her hand to stop Ziva's approach. "There is not. I've spent the last 7 days with these people, looking at the tests, the statistics. I'm done. I want to live out my final days in peace."

Ziva froze. She looked at the woman in front of her. This beautiful woman who had come into her life so unexpectedly and gently changed her life. "But, I love you." She whispered her arms felt useless hanging limply at her sides.

"I know." Jenny could no longer look into Ziva's devastated face. She turned towards the window and looked out at the sky. She could just make out the moon between the buildings. She felt Ziva's arms slide around her waist and she leaned back. "I'm leaving NCIS. I'll turn in my resignation on Monday." She swallowed hard. "They think two months at the most. Driving in a few weeks will be out of the question; even now they frown on it." She felt the tears begin to slide down her face. "I've arranged for a nurse around the clock so I can stay in my house. When I get bad Ziva I don't want you or anyone there."

"No."

"Ziva…" She turned in her arms. She let her hands slid up Ziva's arms to rest on her shoulders taking in the warm, smooth feeling of her skin. One hand picked up the Star of David pendent and played with it.

"No. I'm not leaving you Jenny. I love you, I will be there."

"But work your job..."

"I am not going anywhere. I will put in for a leave of absence."

"Ziva-"

"I will be there, I love you." She began to kiss down Jenny's neck as her hands reached for the tie on her sweats. "I love you." With one tug the pants hit the floor and Ziva helped her step out of them. She felt numb; her mind was still trying to wrap its way around the thought of Jenny dying. She didn't look sick, she just looked exhausted. Her hand slowly slipped down to gently trace the tattoo that stood out against the pale skin of Jenny's thigh. She dropped to her knees and kissed the rough patch of skin. She smiled remember when they first got the tattoos.

Minutes and hours and years may go by.  
>But my heart knows nothing of time.<br>So don't cry, just keep me right there.  
>In your dreams.<br>And hold on to these words of mine

Cairo 2003

Ziva had not heard from Jenny in over three weeks. She was beyond worried. They had stayed in touch as much as possible with the distance and the hostel situation between their countries at the moment. Last year she had managed to get to the states for three days. All thoughts of taking a full vacation flew out of their minds the second they saw each other. They never left Jenny's house. Both had been able to call or e-mail at least twice a week until three Monday's ago. Jenny hadn't said anything about a mission or being away for a great period of time. Ziva wiped the sweat from her brow. It was hot, July in Cairo was hell. She hadn't been back since Jenny. Ziva had learned a lot in the past 2 years. She was now a junior agent with Mossad and was to complete a drop mission in the city. She got sent in because she was a woman and would not draw attention to herself by walking through the market. She was to pick up a package from an American informant and return to headquarters. As she neared the drop site her eyes caught sight of a red lock of hair. It was just enough to stop her forward motion. The person behind her bumped into her pushing her forward into the woman she was staring at. The woman turned and Ziva's heart stopped. "Jenny?"

"Ziva?"

They froze, staring at each other, for one second Ziva was back in front of the American embassy all those years ago. The smell brought her back to the present. The sulfur made her nose tingle she turned and saw the smoke. She quickly reached out pulling Jenny towards the other side of the street and knocking her to the ground behind an olive vender. The sound of the explosion made her ears ring, the last thing she remembered was looking down into Jenny's blue eyes thinking 'she is safe'.

When Ziva came to she was in a hotel room. Jenny was pacing back and forth at the foot of the bed. "Jenny?"

"Oh thank God!" Jenny stepped over to the bed taking Ziva's hand in hers. "I was so worried."

"How long have I been out?" She asked groggily. She reached back to the area where her head was throbbing the worst and felt a bump. "Ow."

"Shhh, just lay back, it's been about thirty minutes. I was just getting ready to call a doctor."

Ziva nodded, "I probably have a concussion."

"I'm sure. What the hell where you thinking Ziva? Pulling me like that and putting yourself into the line of fire! You could have been killed! Don't you ever do that again do you hear me?"

Ziva just stared at her unblinking, "Could you please lower your voice, my head hurts."

Jenny dropped her eyes and blushed. "I'm sorry, it's just…this is not how I expected our reunion to go. I could have lost you Ziva."

Ziva shook her head, "Never" She pulled Jenny down on the bed." I must ask, what in the world are you doing here? You stopped e-mailing I was worried your cell phone goes straight to voicemail."

"I'm sorry. This mission came up quickly. I've been bounced all over North Africa. This mission became available and I jumped at it. I was afraid they wouldn't let me have it because it is a probie mission but I can be very convincing."

A slow smile spread across Ziva's face. "I know. Being that I can't really sit up, could you please lean down and kiss me."

Jenny laughed, it was a wonderful sound to Ziva's ears, "I've missed you." She covered her lips with hers in a series of short kisses. "We have three days."

"That seems to be our lucky number."

Jenny and Ziva had both checked in with their agencies, Jenny had one more drop the next morning and Ziva was off for two days because of her concussion. After a light lunch the both laid on the bed catching up. Jenny was again in shorts and a tank top leaving her legs and arms free for exploration. Ziva's fingers gently played over the scar on the inside of Jenny's left thigh. "You got very lucky with this." She whispered in the quiet room.

"So you've told me many many times." Jenny smiled nuzzling her face into Ziva's neck. "It's not a very happy scar for me. It brings up bad memories."

Ziva raised her eye brow, "When are scars happy?"

Jenny smirked and turned her wrist over to show Ziva. "Remember that night after the dinner party you dragged me to?" On the underside of her wrist was a faint white scar, they had both had too much to drink that night and in their frenzy to get their clothes off Ziva had tripped and knocked Jenny's into edge of the kitchen counter the impact had sliced open her wrist.

Ziva laughed, "Okay, I will give you that one," She had an idea, "What if we changed that?"

Jenny pulled back and looked at her in the dim light of the room, "How?"

"Come on." She sat up slowly; she still had a faint headache.

"Ziva…"

"Trust me."

An hour later they were in a dingy back room of a shop, the smell of acid and incense was heavy in the air. Jenny was chewing her lip while Ziva was speaking to the shop clerk in rapid Arabic. She handed the older woman some money and grabbed Jenny's hand.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. OW!" Jenny's head shot up off the cot she was laying on. Her legs were spread and the older woman from the front desk was between them injecting ink into her skin. "Why did I let you talk me into this?"

Ziva was in the same position reading a magazine. "Because you love me."

"You do know this is forbidden in your religion."

Ziva laughed, "I do a lot of things that are forbidden in my religion." She waggled her eyebrows at Jenny which earned her an eye roll.

It took about an hour and they were again walking down the street hand in hand. It was late and there were not many people around. "How does it feel?"

Jenny frowned. "It's numb right now."

"Good, tomorrow it will itch like no other."

Jenny laughed pulling Ziva into their hotel. "Would you mind scratching it for me then?"

The room was only lit by the street light outside of Ziva's bedroom. Jenny lay tucked into Ziva's shoulder as their hearts slowed down. Ziva's fingers were gently tracing the word that now covered the scar on Jenny's thigh; 'ahavat' was scrolled in Hebrew. It matched the one on the inside of Ziva's own thigh.

"I love you." Ziva whispered into Jenny's hair.

"I love you too."

"Please tell me this is all a dream Jenny." Ziva pushed herself up to look down at her lover.

Jenny shook her head, sobs rocked her body. "Ziva, I'm so scared."

Ziva froze; in the almost ten years that she'd known Jenny she had never heard her admit she was scared. She had rarely seen her cry; even when she broke her arm in an op in Latvia she didn't cry a tear. She clutched the other woman as Jenny's nails left red streaks down Ziva's back, but she didn't care. "Do you remember our dreams? Do you remember asking me to get you a job here so we could be together? We would settle down, buy a house outside of town, have children, and maybe get a dog. Do you remember Ziva? I'm so sorry for this mess, the only way I could guarantee getting you here was to take the Directors job. If I had known what I know now I would have never taken it. God, we could have both left, we could have been happy Ziva. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, hey, hey, stop. We are happy!" Ziva lifted her tear stained face up to look into her eyes. "Do not regret what you worked so hard for Jen. You are the first female director of a government agency! You are damn good at it too. Without that job we might not have gotten here, me leaving Mossad when I was young was not an option and you love your job. You are so good at it, please do not regret that." She gently kissed the tears that were running down Jenny's cheeks.

"I wanted children with you Ziva, I wanted a life."

"You have me now Jenny. Everything I have is yours."

"I don't want to die Ziva, God, I don't want to die." Her sobs made it impossible for her to speak. Ziva let her cry, she held onto her tightly. Silent tears trickled down her face; she would not let her love go down without a fight. She began making plans in her head, she still had many connections overseas, someone would be able to help Jenny, and they had to.

TBC…

If you want the last chapter, review and tell me what you think. It will only take a second I promise!


	3. Chapter 3

I own nothing, thanks for sticking with me folks. If you like it please, please review! Again, I apologize for the spacing. hates me.

_Forever love.  
>I promise you.<br>Someday we'll be together.  
>Forever love.<br>I won't give up.  
>No matter what.<br>I'll be waiting for you.  
>Forever love.<em>

Los Angeles

If Ziva would have known the advents that were about to happen she would have kept Jenny in bed all day. She would not have woken up at 6:00 to make them breakfast and quietly call a surgeon friend of her father's overseas, Nor would she have let them go quietly about their morning routines with the cloud of Jenny's health hanging over them. Before Jenny could get into NCIS on Monday she received a phone call that William Decker had died. For Ziva everything happened so fast, one minute they were laying curled up in bed talking about heading back to Egypt one last time, the next Jenny was running around Ziva's apartment babbling something about Los Angeles and Paris. No matter what she did she could not get Jenny to slow down and talk. Her whole attitude changed, a wall was thrown up locking Ziva out. As she grabbed her bag to head home to pack she pulled Ziva to her tightly. Dark brown met blue. "Remember, whatever happens Cherie, I love you." She kissed Ziva so gently it took her breath away. When Jenny pulled back Ziva could have sworn she saw tears in her eyes. She opened her mouth to ask again what was going on but she was gone.

Time had sped forward, she got a call from Gibbs asking her to come in, she and Tony were needed on protection for the director. She tried to ask questions but was told it was need to know. They were in LA and suddenly Jenny was leaving her and Tony behind. No matter how she tried to get Jenny to let her in she was blocked. It infuriated her, especially after Jenny had told her that she didn't care who knew about them anymore. She was also worried about her health. If the doctors were correct about her condition Jenny should not be running around LA by herself, plus there was the male voice her and Tony and heard over the phone. And to top it off there was Tony, in general. She knew something was wrong, it was gnawing on her insides giving her that sick feeling she had felt in Tel Aviv. Finally when McGee had located the dinner for them she felt they had a handle on the situation, but then she received the text message.

"_I love you_"

Ziva knew before she even got out of the car. She walked numbly into the dinner, her gun was drawn out of habit, but there would be no need. She called Tony over when she found her, she couldn't bring her feet to move. Jenny's beautiful hair was stained in deep red blood; her shirt, the blue and white one Ziva loved on her was ruined. She took in the jeans, the deep blue hip huggers. Ziva was with Jenny when they bought them; she also remembered the first time she tried to get them off Jenny. Both of them went tumbling attempting to pull them down over her strappy heels. She closed her eyes, if Jenny just would have waited. Ziva started to shake, whether it was from anger or shock she wasn't sure. Jenny should have waited, she could have saved her. Ziva looked out the window, the sunset was red.

Being home felt wrong. She walked into Abby's lab and was nearly knocked over by the taller woman's embrace. She was rambling on about something or other but Ziva's mind and ears were numb. She watched as Tony and McGee left on Gibb's order. Ziva stayed rooted, her eyes looking down into the box that contained Jenny's shirt. She could feel Gibbs heavy stare at her back but she didn't care. She looked up and met his eyes. He gave a small nod and left the room. She took a shaky breath and reached into the box pulling out the shirt. She didn't care about the evidence she was contaminating. "Ziva?" Abby's voice was very low. "As soon as I get the test results back from her things I'll give them to you."

Ziva nodded, her eyes staring at the blood stain on the shirt. "She would have hated that her shirt is ruined." She whispered. As she pulled the shirt fully out of the box and white piece of paper caught her eye. It was tucked into the inside of the pocket. Surely Ducky would have seen it when he removed the clothes. The thought of Jenny laying naked down in the cold autopsy room made her shutter. She quickly shook the image from her mind and gently pulled the letter free. Her name was on the front, scrawled in Jenny's strong handwriting.

Jenny's townhouse always felt warm and comfortable to Ziva. Now, sitting at her vanity in the bedroom Ziva felt cold. The house seemed too big without its owner there. She took a deep breath and gently unfolded the envelope that lay in front of her.

Cherie,

I am sorry for what I am about to do. I should have called you, let you in but this is my battle. I need to see it through and I am sure it will be the last thing I ever do. I made a probie mistake. I let a loose end go untied and for that I am paying dearly. If you are reading this you know I am gone. I am sorry Ziva but it is better this way. I know that is selfish but it will be quick. I love you, always remember that and know that my last thought was of you my darling.

Go to my house, under the bed, back against the wall is a box. Please take it with you. My last will and testament are in it, along with other things I want you to have.

I'll love you forever

Jenny

Ziva's tears gently splashed down onto the paper smudging Jenny's bold letters. She set the paper down and walked first to Jenny's closet. She pulled the doors open and suits of every cut and color stared back at her. She pulled out a blue satin robe that Jenny was fond of wearing. She held it to her nose and inhaled. If she closed her eyes tight enough she could almost feel Jenny's arms around her. A sob broke from her throat; she turned towards the bed and dropped to her knees. She draped the robe around her shoulders and reached under the bed. Her fingers hit a hard object and she pulled the box out, lifting the metal lid her breath caught in her throat. Inside, lying on top was the ticket stub from the opera they had attended last month. She slowly sifted through the box, pulling out notes she had written, some just to say she was working late and would not be able to meet Jenny that night, others little love poems she wrote in Cairo. One picture gave her pause; it was her and Jenny taken by a friend in Giza. The Pyramids where in the background, both had taken off their hijabs their hair was blowing in the wind and Ziva had her face turned into Jenny's, their arms were around each other both smiling at the camera. For one moment she thought about not going on. It would be so easy to just give up.

She shook herself out of the line of thought. She would go on, for Jenny, she would find who did this and she would get revenge. She closed the lid to the box and wearily climbed into bed. The king sized mattress was too big for only her. She rearranged the pillows to take up Jenny's side of the bed; they smelled of Jenny's perfume and made her feel less alone. Her fingers found her Star of David metal, she ran her fingers over it and she let the tears come.

End.

If you liked it PLEASEEEEEE review! You have no idea how receiving a review notification can brighten my day. I did plan on doing a 'pick your own ending' type of story but I just couldn't write Jenny's slow death. Sorry. Thanks for reading!


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